Morons
by Books 4 This Girl 1234
Summary: Edward Elric knows things are bound to change in his life. He never thought it would change this much. Definitely, dealing with a whole bunch of morons.
1. Teen-Life Crisis

_**"Hey guys, I know it's been a while. PLEASE! DON"T KILL ME! I don't have a computer at home or wifi at my house (YES MY PEOPLE, MOURN FOR ME) I have to go to the library and type all of this. It takes forever! Also, I had to worry about school and get classes ready for my hospital internship. I still don't even know what I'm going to do with my life. I'm in the teen-life crisis stage. Where I ask myself "WHERE DO I WANNA GO TO COLLEGE? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? AM I OKAY WRITER OR DO I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH MY LIFE? " It's hard to figure out what to do for the future, but I know I just need to let the hand of fate lead me. Oh my... That sounds so freaking cheesy. Excuse my Cheesiness. (Leo would be so proud.) Now, that I have all of this information in the blue, I have good news! IT'S SUMMER! I don't have to study or do any of that other junk~! I can come to the library (when free) and type till the feels kill me~! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new story! (DON'T WORRY! I DIDN'T FORGET THE OTHER STORIES~! I GOT BIG PLANS!) I DONT OWN FULL METAl ALCHEMIST OR CHARACTERS! IF I DID, I WOULD PROBABLY MAKE ENVY CUDDLE EDWARD THE WHOLE TIME~ PLEASE EXCUSE GRAMMAR ERRORS. I WAS ON THE DARN COMPUTER FOR OVER 6 HOURS TYPING THIS! YOU GUYS BETTER LOVE ME AND NOT JUDGE~~!**_

* * *

 ** _Chapter One_**

 ** _Teen-Life Crisis_**

 ** _Edward Elric P.O.V._**

I feel annoyed and clearly didn't want to do anything else for the rest of my life. My room was completely closed off. Curtains closed, bed covers on the floor, and the door closed shut. At this very moment, my nose was in a alchemy book with my lantern besides it.. Absorbing whatever knowledge the dusty pages could give me. Yes, the paper was wisp dry and the cover had a few dents, but it was worth more than gold to me. I believed it gave the book a tough character. I felt at peace with my dusty old book, that was way older than me, with a cave of covers around me. Keeping me safe under it's warmth.

The atmosphere was blissful and I really hoped to stay in this moment forever. Not having to worry about anything. Yet, I know that possibility will never come for me. Being a dog of the military was on my shoulders and I absolutely hate it. Having to follow orders like a mindless slave. Not being about to question why. I drives me to the point of insanity. I rather stay in a quiet lab with my research and books. Experimenting on all kinds of different alchemy. Expanding my range of knowledge. That's what any scientist wants

"Let's not forget the fact that people annoy the hell out of me. All I hear is their stupid comments about obvious things. "Oh look, the sky is so blue today!" Well, yes moron, that's what it's suppose to look like. The only people I can really tolerate are my co- workers. Wait, that's a lie. I want to punch Colonel Bastard all the time. Him and his cocky attitude about everything frustrates me. I'm sixteen and he still acts like I don't know anything! Can he name all the elements on the periodic table? NO! Does he know what are the components of a human being to the last atom? NO, HE DOESN'T! Great, Now I'm all pissed off.

"Big Brother!" Al shouts with glee as he swings my door open. Only Al, I could tolerate for the rest of my life. My mood instantly gets better from him just walking into the room. Al looked great. He had his body back again. My little brother can finally feel warm inside. He could finally eat, sleep, and even dream. I still feel so happy for my little brother, even though I was stick stuck with a auto-mail arm and leg. I never resent my brother for him having all his limbs and I don't. My happiness mattered nothing, when it comes to Al. I love him and as long as he's happy, then I can pull through anything.

"Anyway, Al busted into my room shouting with Winry following close behind. She looked as lovely as always. She was cute with her white jeans and blue tank top. Yet, she still had a rugged appearance with the grease stains on her arms and left cheek. Her long blond hair tied up in a black ponytail. Her eyes were still a blue that I could fall for. I once loved this girl, no... woman, but all I feel for her is this urge to protect her. She was the sister I never could have. Al looked like a dork with his white collar shirt and his denim jeans. I tried to get his to wear black, but the little snot wouldn't agree. His dirty blond hair reminded me of home. His blue eyes sparkled all the time like a diamond.

I felt my own lips move into a relax smile. They are the perfect couple. I felt happy for the two love birds when they told me about their relationship. I ,of course, made comments about using protecting and not wanting to be a uncle this early in life. My comments earned me a few smacks from Winry with her wrench. Damn, the woman had a freaking great arm. I rather fight a bear than deal with a pissed off Winry. Girls are scary.

"Hey Al, What's up?" I reply to my brother. My brother smiles softly and says "Ed, I wanted to check on you! You've been hiding in your room for days. Have you eaten anything?" Yup, this boy is definitely my Al. Worrying about me all the damn time. I felt myself blush a little. I may have been in my room longer than usually. Not really going anywhere besides the bathroom and my hidden spot of snacks.

"That's it! Go take a shower and get dress! Your coming to the cafe with us for breakfast." Winry states, leaving no room to argue. It was morning already? Last time I checked, it was the middle of the night. Maybe they were right, but that doesn't mean that I have to be happy about it. I grumble to myself and walk into the bathroom. I strip off my clothes (NOT LIKE THAT PERVERTS) and hop into the shower. I clean my body and rinse off the suds. Scrubbing the tired from my eyes like a mad man. "After the cafe, I am going to sleep like a rock." I thought to myself as I hop out the shower and toss on my clothes. I check myself in the mirrors.

I could see my long blond hair around my shoulders and the shine of my gold eyes. So different from my brother's eyes. His eyes showed care and a clear image of his kind soul. Al says my eyes are a solid color and a mystery for the beholder to solve. I really don't understand what he means. All I see is a gold that burns you when you get me to hot.

I take a breath and walk out the bathroom. Winry and All had opened up my curtains letting the horrid light in, sitting on my bed talking about love. I shiver at the thought. When Winry sees me, she giggles at my loose hair and pats on my bed. Wanting me to sit in front of her. Al moves a little to make room for me. I sit were I was directed to. Winry takes out this compact brush from her midnight blue purse. She takes the brush and brushes my long hair lightly. Al moves besides her and feels my hair on his fingertips.

"I don't know how Ed,but your hair is always shiny and soft." Al says lightly with a amazed tone. I feel my face heat up again. Geez, why did he have to say that? Winry takes my hair and finishes brushing it out. She lightly braids it, humming a soft melody. I felt completely relax and at ease. She finishes and Al comments "That's Great! It's all nice and neat." Winry laughs and replies "Let's hope it stays that way! Now, let's head to the cafe and watch Ed stuff his face with muffins." I blush a little harder and grunt out "Not true."The couple looks at me and gives me the "you freaking lair" look. I shrugged it off and walk out the door with the couple following close behind. Giggling about how stubborn I am.

The cafe was more pack then I thought it would be. People were walking around taking orders, groups of people sitting at tables, and people running around to get available seats. I felt extremely compacted into a bubble. Not wanting anyone going into my personal space. Al and Winry look around for a small table, while I look annoyed at my surroundings. I didn't want to deal with people. I rather be in my cover cave of solitude.

"Ah! There's a table!" Al says with glee. He walks over to a table that seats four people by a wide window. The sun shining through the window and directly into the cafe. Winry nods on agreement with Al as we walk over to the table. Of course, Al and Winry sit next to each other on one side and I sit on the other side with a empty seat beside me. Not that I cared. Al says I'm a wiggle worm because I fidget so much. So, having a open space like this felt nice. "So Ed, what have you been up to in that mess you call a room?" Winry asks with a joking tone. I smirk at her and reply "Mind Control."

Al and Winry laugh at my reply and the waiter comes by to take our order. The waiter was nice looking to say at least. He had this red straight hair with dazzling green eyes. There were freckles across his nose and his lips were a plush pink. He was taller than Al, only by a few inches though. Meaning, he was taller than me. He had a cafe uniform on that included a black collar shirt with the cafe logo on the right pocket with black jeans. He wore these beat up black shoes that looked like they were tossed out a window of a train. His name tag was on the left side and before I could read it, he started to talk.

"Hello, my name is Matthew, but you may call me, Matt! I'll be your waiter for today! What will you three be having today to drink?" He gives me a light smile and my face heats up. I instantly get the vibe of danger. Something was up with this dude. "I'll have a apple juice, this lovely lady will have a coffee and please make it black, and Ed will have a orange juice." Al says softly. It's funny how much Al knows about us. Al knows what I love and what I want to burn from the earth... damn milk.

"Great! It'll be here in a second." Matt says softly with a bright smile. He turns towards me and winks at me. What the Hell? Why was he winking at me like that? Doesn't he know who I am!? I am the FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! People usually avoid me and look at me differently when they see my auto-mails. Does this guy just want to get on my nerves or something? Was He flirting with me? If he is flirting, then why the hell is he doing it to me?

Geez, human communication is so hard to understand. Alchemy is so much easier to handle. Human communication has so many different meanings. Alchemy is cold hard facts and written knowledge. Alchemy is based on a simple statement, while human communication is based on billions of things. The truth of the matter is, Alchemy is so much easier.

Matt comes back with our drinks and I feel the urge to flat out ask him what twisted game he was pulling. If I was alone, I would've already knocked in his face and say words that even Colonel Bastard would be shock to hear. Yet, Winry and Al are here with me, so I try to hold my tongue. Those two morons better love me, dammit. "Here's your drinks. Now, what will you like to eat?" Matt says with his pen set on his notepad, ready to write whatever we says.

I didn't say anything, since I know Al would order for me, like he did for the drinks. Winry seemed to have the same thought. "I'll have a biscuit with eggs on the side, my girl will have a blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese on it, and Ed will have three apple cinnamon muffins." Al says with a smile. "Alright, that will be out in a bit!" Matt replies.

As he walks away to turn the order in, he leans towards me and whispers "Apple Cinnamon, huh. No wonder you smell so sweet." My face turns as red as a apple. WHAT THE HELL!? I turn to punch him, but he's already gone to turn in the orders. I take that as a YES! This red headed idiot was definitely flirting with me! What the hell was he getting out of it? Well, no way will he get to me. When he comes back around, I'll knock his lights out. I look over to the love birds, obvious to what was going on. I swear, they could be in their own little world for infinity if I let them.

Matt returns with the food and I lean forward to punch the moron, but Matt lays the muffins in front of me. I get distracted by the nice aroma of cinnamon that fills my nostrils. Man, I could melt in this smell. Winry and Al get their own food and smile lightly. "Hope you enjoy!" Matt says with excitement. Winry and Al start to talk about their next date at some high maintenance french place. Matt leans towards me and whispers "Don't choke on your muffin, honey."

Forget being freaking nice! I punch his arm, making him fall back a little. Al looks at me and says "ED!" I feel a few eyes on me from the other people in the cafe, but I don't really freaking care. Matt smirks and stands back up with his smug posture. Rubbing his arm lightly, while Al and Winry mean mug me. I can't just tell them that the dumbo was flirting with me, so I had to knock him off his high horse.

"There was a fly on his arm. So sorry, I must of used to much strength." I reply with sarcasm in my undertone that only Matt would hear. Al and Winry looked like they believed me, while Matt was glaring daggers at me. Ha, that's what you get! Matt puts a absolutely fake smile on his face and accepts the apology in front of the couple. The other customers go back to their own conversations again.

Matt leans towards me and says "That's okay, honey. I like it rough and dirty." My face pales a little as he walks away. What was that suppose to mean?Al includes me into a conversation about the train system in the city. How the rails were way past due time. I agreed with what he says mostly. Having a conversation about trains is so exciting! You notice my sarcasm, right?

I scarf down two of the muffins on my plate and save the last one for when I retreat back into my den of solitude. Matt comes back with the check and doesn't look at me. Good, that means he finally understands to back off. Al takes the bill and puts the cost needed down. "Thanks Al." I mumble quietly. "Oh thanks, sweet heart." Winry says. OH NO, Their going to start the nicknames again. Al nods towards me and then turns to Winry. "It's fine, Sugar Bear." He says. SEE, I told you, pet names.

We stand up to walk out the cafe, when Matt gets behind me. He slips something in my back pocket and whispers "See you Later, Short Stuff." NOPE! NOT GOING TO CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT I NEED TO HAVE A STEP LADDER TO PUNCH YOUR FACE!" I shout at him. Trying to get my hands around his stupid neck! Al and Winry had to grab my arms and drag me out the cafe.

The couple walked me back to my dorm and went off to do romantic crap. I return to my cover cave and grab my alchemy book. I walk over to my bed and flop onto the mattress. Not caring that my hair came loose on impact and a few strains fell out the ponytail. I kick off my boots as my black shirt starts to get wrinkle from wiggling around. I take off my leather black pants and sigh. I cover up with me only being in red boxers and a black t-shirt. I take the alchemy book up to my eyes and start to read from the place I left off. About 20 minutes pass, before I pass out on the part of the book talking about ice alchemy.

When I woke up, the sun shined brighter through the window. I check the time, it's around noon. I was only asleep for a few hours. I stretch my arms out and it reminds me of a cat. I stand up off the bed and put my pants back on. I feel something digging into my skin in the back pocket. I slip my hand back pocket and pull a crumble piece of paper. I straighten the piece of paper and I read over it.

It reads _"Hey Honey, here's my phone number! You should call me sometime! I would love to get to know you better!~Matt"._ I grunt as I read over the number at the bottom of the paper. Realizing, I just memorized the phone number, I growl and stuff the paper back into my back pocket. It's not even a problem that's Matt's a guy, I'm Bi after all. Yet, Matt annoys the hell out of me. Almost as much as Colonel Bastard.

I hear a knocking on my door and I grimly walk to the door. I swing the poor door open and meet the face of my ex boyfriend, Russell Tringham. His bright yellow hair was the first thing I notice as I look at him. His hair always reminded me of the sun. He stale blue eyes always made me lost, finding the specks of silver in them. His sharp chin made me wanna trace my finger on the sharpness of it. He looked as rugged as always. Wearing a white t-shirt, tan pants, and black spenders to hold the outfit together.

I know what your thinking. Didn't you hate this guy for being a copy cat? Well, for a while I did hate his guts. Then, Al started to hang out with Fletcher. Meaning, Russell and I had to babysit them everywhere. At first, we ignored each other and just watched over our little brothers. Then, we started to ad-knowledge each other till we started to talk about different alchemy. One thing lead to another, I was in Russell's lad learning herb alchemy and what was the best position to make out in.

We dated for like six months, in-till Russell wanted someone else. It hurt when he broke up with me. Al nearly killed him. Don't even get me started on Colonel Bastard. That idiot was royally pissed. I don't even know why. Yet, Russell and I agreed to stay friends. Still talking about the different aspects of alchemy and herbs that make grown men cry.

Anyway, here was annoying Russell at my door. I lean against the door frame causally and ask "Why are you here, Copy Cat?". He frowns , while I smirk a little at his discomfort. I know he hates that nickname, but I really don't want to deal with his drama today. "Your such a nice pipsqueak, I wanted to go over some transmutation circles with you and practice them. Are you ready to lose, short stuff?" THIS COPY CAT! WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE TODAY, GETTING ME MAD!

"DON'T CAL ME SHORT,YOU NO GOOD COPY CAT! AND FINE, LET'S GO PRACTICE YOUR STUPID TREE MAGIC THAT I WILL DESTROY!" I shout out.I run to my scattered boots and tug them out. Not caring if they were on right. And then I run straight out the door. Russell full out runs to keep up with me, shouting insults I don't hear. Heading towards the training grounds.

We make it to the training ground, breathing extremely heavy after running all the way here. Russell takes out a piece of chalk and starts to make his circle on the ground. "Are you sure this is going to work?" I asked with a little annoyance. Russell smirks at me and says "Yes, I think I've finally gotten it right." Your probably wondering what the heck this moron is talking about or what he's working on. You see, Russell does herb alchemy. Right now, he's trying to create a vine plant that should release sleep mist or gas.

Meaning using a certain circle is the best way to go. Russell says it's to complex to use with a regular circle. He's been trying to develop this for about 2 months now. I'm kinda surprise that he thinks he's finally done it. He's experiments so far have been complete failure. Well, there's only one way to find out.

Russell finishes the circle and gets on his knees from the ground. "Ready?" Russell calls out. I nodded and Russell let's a smile cover his face. He places his hands down and they start to light up. The lines in the circle start to light up and roots start to grow from the circle. The roots crawl towards me, making me have to jump back. One even started to lunge for me. I call out towards Russell "Can I cut it or do you want me to just dodge it?". Russell calls back out "You can cut it. I need samples to go over in the lab anyway." I smirk and take out my blade.

Another root goes after me, attacking my right side. Trying to wrap itself around my waist. I cut it, making a limb fall off. The chloroplast was sliding off my blade. It was a weird neon green color. Vines start to come out from the roots. I instantly knew this is what I had to worry about. This purple mist was coming from the vines. If Russell actually succeed, this mist should be knock out gas. Well, here goes nothing.

I walk towards the mist, just enough to smell it. The mist smelled of lavender and lemongrass. It was extremely weird. I felt myself getting happy all of a sudden. A smile covers my face. I didn't want to smile, but here I was. Smiling like a kid who just won free ice cream. I start to giggle.

"Is it making you tired?" Russell ask, shouting from his circle. I giggle some more for no reason. Crap. This wasn't knock out gas at all! "No! This isn't knock out gas, moron... HAHA... it's laughing gas...HAHA." I shout at him, trying not to laugh. Russell takes his hands off the circle and the light dies. Russell starts to walk towards me. As he smells the mist, he starts to giggle as well.

We both start to laugh like fools about nothing. I felt as high as a kite and a little bubbly. I poke his face and giggle. "Your face is too sharp, like a pencil." I mumble with glee. Russell laughs out like a hyena and replies "Your eyes are so pretty. They remind me of a precious treasure. I wanna hold onto it."I feel my face flush the darkest red and I giggle again. I feel like I'm on drugs or something.

Russell smirks and pokes my cheek. "So pretty, like a rose." I feel something wet on my cheek and Russell was there kissing my cheek. My face was on fire at this point. I feel something travel across my foot, but I ignore it. At the moment, Russell was taking my attention. I giggle some more till I feel a yank on my foot.

Next thing I know, I'm hanging upside down with a vine around my foot. I felt my mind clear being out of that mist. I hear a scream and then Russell is hanging beside me on a vine. I could see his eyes clearing. Oh Crap! What did we just do? Russell seems to realize what just happen and starts to blush with me. I mumble sarcastically "You think I'm pretty, Copy Cat?" Russell blushes darkens and I snicker at him. "As sharp as a pencil, huh?" Russell replies back. My blush darkens as well. We both look at each other and burst out laughing. We are such idiots together.

"I say this might be categorized as a fail." Russell mumbles to himself. I laugh at him and reply "Yeah, this is definitely a fail." He growls at me and says "Not exactly the result I wanted, but it's still effective. So, I say 50 percent a success." I snort at him and mumble a "Whatever." I take my blade and start to cut at the vine suspending me. The vine starts to snap and I freeze up.

Crap, what am I going to land on? I look down to see cement. Double Crap, I don't wanna land on that. I start to clap my hands to create something to land on, but then the vine snaps. I curse, falling to my doom. This is going to hurt. I wait for the feeling of impact, closing my eyes tightly. I land on something, but it feels different. It's not as hard as I imagined. It's rather soft and firm.

I open my eyes and notice two arms around me. I look up to see a smug face. "Called for a hero, honey?" You guessed right, Matt caught me. Holding me in a princess style. I hear a snap and Russell falls into a bed of roots. He grunts out, but as far as I could tell, he was fine. My attention turns back to Matt as he leans in and says "Does the Prince get a kiss for rescuing the fair maiden?" This bastard just ruin the whole damn moment.

I wiggle out of his grip and fall to the ground. I stand back up, dusting of the dirt from my clothes. "No, you don't get a kiss, I didn't need your help." I lied to him. I really was going to fall on the hard ground, so I kinda did need his help. Not that I would ever admit that to the likes of him. It would make his big head explode.

Russell walks over towards us with a few twigs in his hair. I laugh at the moron, taking out the twigs. I hear a cough and notice Matt looking at Russell. Might as well introduce the two morons to each other. "Oh Russell, this is Matthew, but you can call him 'Matt'. Matt, this is my friend, Russell Tringham." I state to the two morons. They seem to be glaring at each other. Geez, what had there panties in a bunch?

"Boyfriend?" Matt asked with a annoyed tone. Russell starts to answer, but I quickly reply "Ex-Boyfriend." Russell still looks angry, while Matt looks a little at ease. "What was the piece of paper for that you slipped into my pocket earlier?" I ask Matt, still annoyed about it. Matt smiles softly, while Russell looks completely confused. "Well Honey, I really wanna get to know you better." Matt says smoothly. I notice Russell's eye twitch as I reply "STOP CALLING ME HONEY! You don't even know my name." Matt laughs and replies "Then, tell me your name, Honey." I feel my own eye twitch."My name is Edward Elric. NOT HONEY. GOT IT?!" Matt smirks and mumbles sweetly "Yes Eddy, I got it." I feel myself getting ready to lunge at him.

Before I can, Russell says "Why are you trying to get to know him better? He's none of your concern." Matt frowns and turns to Russell. "I made him my concern, when I laid eyes on him. Why are you so worried about it?" Matt's voice was little darker than his normal cheerful tone. "Maybe, because I'M HIS FRIEND and I CARE FOR MY FRIEND'S WELL BEING!" Russell states back.

Oh, this is going bad extremely quickly. The two idiots start to puff their chest and glare at each other. They reminded me of two dominant loins fighting over a submissive. Wait a minute, that would make me the...NO! I'm not dealing with their idiotic behavior any longer. I grab both of their ears and yank them down to my level. They both cry out in pain.

I look at Russell and state "Russell, your my friend, not my protector. I can hang out with who I want to." I look over to Matt. "Matt, I'm not something you can just pick up from the street. Earn the right to be in my world. Also, treat my friends more politely." I let go of them and demand them to say sorry to one another. They both mumble a quiet sorry to each other. Ha, who's the dominate one now! "Edward" Matt says softly. I turn towards him and grunt out a "What?" He smiles softly and asks "I was wondering if you could hang out with me tomorrow at the park?" I feel dumbstruck for a second. I immediately start to say no, but I look at his face. He's giving me this sad puppy dog eyes. It reminded me of Al as a child, begging me to do some random thing with him. I feel my will power crumble.

"Fine. I'll go to the damn park with you." I feel myself mumble. Matt's face instantly gets brighter and I feel my face getting hot again. "Don't get so excited, you moron. I'll be there around noon. Don't be late or I'm never going to hang out with you. Now, get the heck out of here." I grunt at him. He smiles softly and starts to run away calling out " See you then, HONEY!" I growl and shake my fist at his leaving body. I hear a cough and turn towards Russell.

Russell looked annoyed, stating " I don't like him. You shouldn't hang out with that guy." I smirk and reply "Well, I somewhat like him, in a I might struggle kind of way. It'll be fine." Russell doesn't look really at ease with my words. It made me feel a touch of anxiety. I shake it off and run off towards the pile of dead roots, shouting "I can destroy more roots and vines than you can! Try to beat me, Copy Cat!" I hear a soft chuckle coming from Russell. He runs towards me, trying to beat my awesome skills of destroying things.

* * *

 ** _Well, there's your chapter! I hope you enjoy and please comment~! Also, I'm working on my other stories, so don't worry~! Take Care My People!_**


	2. The Bad Type of Lust

**_Hey Guys~! I hope your veteran day is going well. I've been so busy catching up on chemistry. (CHEMISTRY IS THE DEVIL)_**

 ** _If anyone has any chemistry tips, let me know by P.M. me._**

 ** _Please excuse errors and do please comment. (I DON'T OWN FULL-METAL ALCHEMIST)_**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 2_**

 ** _The Bad Type of Lust_**

 ** _Envy P.O.V._**

Edward Elric is moron. Why am I getting so close to this idiot? What can I gain by this? Not like there's anything else to do. This peak squeak won't know what hit him.

"Are you playing the good guy again?" a voice from behind says.

I turn quickly and frown "Don't you have something better to do Lust?"

Lust smiles and puts a hand on her hip. "You know I don't," moving over to the dusty couch I am sitting on.

She looks so beautiful and that annoys the hell out of me. Her presence overpowers anyone in contact with. Why can't I have that type of power over people?

"So, I heard you been getting friendly with one of the Elric brothers," Lust says nonchalantly.

"Yeah," I mumble softly. What is she playing at and how does she know anything?

"How?" she ask with mildly confusion. She places her arm on my shoulder to get closer to my body.

Jeez, ever hear of personal space.

My lips slip into a devilish smirk and I change. My body morphs into a new appearance.

"My name is Matthew and my hobbies include teasing a small fry."

I pose in a model stance and smiles softly.

"Like what you see?" I ask in Matthew's voice.

"Ah, that's how your doing it. Can't just tell the moron that you like him, can you?" Lust asks with sarcasm.

"Of course, I can't flat out say I like the moron. It would end in chaos. Greed would probably show up with all the mayhem that would happen."

Wait, Did I just admit I like girly locks? Ah, no I don't. He's entraining thats all.

"No need to be rude, Envy. I just want to know what's going on in your life, since we are free to do what we please." Lust says softly as she checks the roots of her nails.

Yeah, we don't listen to anyone now that the metal boy got his body back. All of us scattered about, while Lust, Greed, and I stay around central for personal reasons.

"Whatever, What do you want anyway?" I ask with no interest at all. Yet, the inside of my soul is terrified.

"I'm here to help you, Envy. Help you get closer to Edward," Lust says in a completely serious tone. She doesn't even use Edward's multiple nicknames or references to his height.

"How?" I ask quietly.

Her smile grows wide and her body language turns evil. Well, more evil than her usual demonic self.

"I'll show you how to catch him with ease. I'll show you how to be sexy and down right devilish. I'll show you how to get him in your grip for the taking."

She leans into my space and her smile transfers to my face. I like her way of thinking.

"Teach me," as I lean closer to her face.

With Lust's help, I'll sure will be able to catch Edward's attention.

 ** _(In the few hours - Envy's outcries)_**

 ** _"Ahhhh, Why do I have to wear a tie?"_**

 ** _"Can you not be in my personal space!?"_**

 ** _"Lust, Does this make me look fat?"_**

 ** _"Why can't we eat tacos at the park?"_**

 ** _"Dammit Lust, I said the green shirt. Not the red girly one!"_**

After a few hours later, I know everything I need to take the small fry as mine. All I have to do now is wait for tomorrow to come around for the park date.

Yes! I am about to SCORE!

Take that dumb Russell to the ground! Why does that Dweeb think he has a chance with Edward? He's the blonde's ex.

Obviously, he still has feelings for the small fry. The poor boy doesn't stand a chance.

My skills are above nine thousand.

"Now Envy, remember for tomorrow, don't get nervous. If you get nervous, you'll screw everything up," Lust says like a mother hen.

"Thank's Mama Lust for the wonderful advance, I mumble with sass.

I am in the game and ready to take my peak squeak on a park date and blow his genius mind!

* * *

 ** _Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it's short, but the next chapter is extremely long._**

 ** _Thanks for reading and please comment._**


End file.
